Today is just another day

So, today is Valentines Day but what does that exactly mean?

To most couples it is a special day where they go out and buy presents, cards and have a nice romantic meal to show how much they love eachother. For singletons it is one of the worst days of the year with many of them seeing it as just another day of them being single.

The fact that the shops now have special 'Valentines Sections' adds to the fact that February 14th is no longer a day to show how much you love someone but a day where the shops cash in on our soppy ways.

For me, it hasn't been anything other than "just another day" for quite a few years. I think about seven years in fact. This year I thought it was going to be different but fate had other ideas so it's a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine and a meal for one tonight for me while I sit in and watch a film. I'm thinking Saw.

Gone are the days when I used to write a card and put it in a girls draw at school or sneak it into their bags at breaktime in the cloakroom when they weren't looking.

I do have a Valentines card here but I am just about to put it in the bin. I don't even want to recycle it. I might just send it out to a random person because I am sure there are plenty like me that have not received a card today.

The one thing that I do not like about the whole Valentines Day idea is that it seems there has to be one day where a couple can show how much they love eachother. They say true love lasts a lifetime and if that is true then it should not just be February 14th when you cook for your other half or buy them flowers and presents. There is too much emphasis on the whole thing.

I might just be being really bitter about being single on Valentines Day but like I've said for the last seven years, maybe next year things will be different. Now then, where's that wine.

Things can only get better.

Just when I thought things could not get any worse, they did today. It seems that as soon as I have some good news, there is always some bad news just around the corner that comes and shits all over my day.

I had a real "off day" yesterday but decided that going out with friends last night would be a much better idea than staying in on my own. It was a decision that I am glad I made because it ended up being a good night and for the most part of it, I was sober.

So I woke up this morning, checked my emails and was so excited when I had an email in my inbox from the company in Australia where I had applied for my internship. They had offered me a job and although they had not provided many details I still saw this as a positive even if I was a little skeptical. There was no way I was signing any contracts until I found out more about what sounded like the opportunity of a lifetime.

With the good news came the bad news and after the week I have had it was all I needed. I'm going home tomorrow anyway, something that I really wish I did not have to do. I think this is the first time that I have not wanted to go home.

A work mate that I worked with for over two years had not been very well. Today I learned that things have got worse and there is nothing the doctors can do for him. I was told by another work colleague during a teary conversation on the phone. It's just so unbelievable, he was one of those guys that was always there to make you laugh when you needed it. He was never any different, he never changed, no matter when you saw him and now he is fighting for his life. It just shows how cruel life can be. I keep asking myself the same question, why does it always happen to the nice people?

So it hasn't been a very good week really but I need to keep myself busy. I am really hoping that this internship in Australia materializes, if not then I'm hoping for one in America. If there is one thing I have learnt over the last few days, it's to live life to the full because you just don't know what's around the corner.

Friendship

I have read this before but came across it again today and it made me smile, something I have needed today.

True Friendship "Aussie Style"
None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card -- Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5.... When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until you stop whining.

6... When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7... When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy backside, but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

I am lucky enough to have some of the best friends in the world, they all know who they are.

Drinking to remember

After the devastating news I had yesterday morning, going out in Camden for cocktails last night did not seem like such a good idea as I have already said in my last post.

However I decided that staying in on my own and moping would have been the last thing my cousin would have wanted, he liked a drink as much as me and I was going to make sure that I had a really good night for him.

The plan was to go for food and cheap drinks (or not so cheap as we discovered) in The Ice Wharf. Then we would make our way to Bar Fifty Five. Probably the best cocktail bar in London.

So, full of food and after a few pints it was cocktail time. I had decided that I would be sophisticated and have champagne cocktails. The one I chose had gin in it and I never drink gin. It was nice though and with it being happy hour and 2 for 1 all night I had two so if I didn't like it then it was tough.

They were going down well and I got another two. In the end I think I had eight. By this point I had already been sick twice and was not even capable of standing. In no uncertain terms, I was a mess! I don't remember the last time I was that drunk. Apparently in the kebab shop I was talking to myself in my own language!

I think it is safe to say that I will be laying off the champagne cocktails for a while because although I wanted to be sophisticated, I was far from it by the end of the night.

"Life's so unfair..."

Waking up and finding out that you have lost a relative just doesn't bear thinking about. It has happened to me before but when that relative is so young it really does make you think about your priorities and the things in life that you take for granted. Being 300 miles away from the rest of your family also adds to the helplessness you feel even if there is nothing you can do.

My cousin was 33 years old and passed away this morning. Although I haven't seen him for about 12 months, this news which made me feel numb has now hit me harder than a ton of bricks.

Not only has it upset me, it has made me realise how pathetic we can all be sometimes. The things we complain about, have a moan about or bitch about. In comparison to some things, these are tiny problems that don't even matter when you think about them.

A prime example of this is me getting annoyed because a night out had to be cancelled last week. I was so annoyed, I was swearing, shouting and just generally so angry that I couldn't go out. Looking back now I almost feel ashamed that I got myself into that state. It was only a night out. There are so many times that I have had a moan or complained about something that today seems just completely ridiculous.

My sister hit the nail on the head with her Facebook status today that my cousin and I have since copied. It read:

Life's so unfair. The smallest, most pathetic problems seem so big at the time, but when there's someones life either at risk, or lost, you soon realise how stupid you can be. X

Never has a status been more true to life. The thing is, we all seem to get too wrapped up with one problem and blow it all out of proportion. If I have learnt one thing today or if something has been reaffirmed in my mind it is that life is too short.

I am going out tonight, something I wasn't going to do after the news I had but my cousin liked a drink and so tonight is dedicated to him. And if I don't go out, I'll end up in on my own. I'm just trying to do all the crying now but can't promise that there won't be any tears tonight.

So cous, the drinks are on you tonight. RIP x

Praise The Lord!

After what has been a waste of a day, I was pleased to hear that the BBC have commissioned a second series of the Matt Lucas and David Walliams mockumentary Come Fly With Me.

I must admit that when I first saw it advertised, I was not sure what it would be like, Little Britain was funny but after a while it kind of ran out of steam. I have to say that when series two of Miranda finished, this show was the perfect substitute.

Favourite character has to be Precious, the coffee stall owner. Looking forward to the second series and seeing what Lucas and Walliams pull out of the bag next time around.

Moving down under? If only....

I cannot apologise enough for the lack of blogging I have been doing since before Christmas. I am actually a little bit annoyed with myself for not keeping it up.

However I am back, albeit a little late. So what's happened since the last time I posted. Well lots in actual fact. Christmas has been and gone, New Year was also over before I knew it and I was on the train back to London.

The first week back was a little hectic with deadlines looming but it was all good. I got everything handed in on time and was pleased with the finished products. A commission piece of the experiences I faced when moving from Cornwall to London along with a piece about the Penlee Lifeboat Disaster (all set out on InDesign so it looked like a proper magazine feature) were my chosen pieces of work and handing them in was such a relief. Going to the SU after and having celebratory drinks was an even bigger highlight though.

Now it is time to focus on the big one, the dissertation. Everytime I see, read, hear or say the word I shudder a little bit inside but there is no time like the present to start my research and send out a billion emails to very busy people hoping they will find time in their packed schedule to speak to a poor student. I never know how to word emails, I normally end up sounding too polite as if they do not have to be interviewed or too desperate. I think I need to strike a balance.

Today I was meant to start doing some research but that has been put on hold as while I was procrastinating I came across a journalism internship in Australia that I have applied for. I have literally got everything crossed. Being able to move to Oz, write about my experiences and get paid for doing it and living in a beautiful country that I have always wanted to visit could not be better could it?

I am also doing International Journalism this year and I originally chose to focus on Morocco as my chosen country but I can now see this changing to Australia. I do not want to jinx anything but if I get this opportunity it really could set me up for life.

Right I've rambled enough now so time to get on with some of that "d" research.